Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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