I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
last night I used snow as a chaser
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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