We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
