I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
did i just pee glitter
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
