also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
