i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
