I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
