I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
