Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
