Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Operation Purity has been aborted
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
