don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
