I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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