Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize