Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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