My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
