I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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