i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
