so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So gin and wine won't be happening again
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
