We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
