just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
