you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
