If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize