So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
