he thought i was a dude.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
please come you make the beer taste better
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
