I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
