bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
