sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
