look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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