you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
