Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
