Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
