mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
