sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
as a side note pls kill me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
