so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
