Please, let me fuck your mom
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
