On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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