Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
