There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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