the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
