Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
