I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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