I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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