There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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