Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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