dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
