I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
