i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
