I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
