remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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