Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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