How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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