she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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