I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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