Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
