marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
