Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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