I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
