I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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