i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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