I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
