I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize