I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
